(This is an auto-scheduled post. Did you seriously think I would blog while I'm in San Antonio for the weekend? Not a chance)

I've read my fair share of funny blog-posts dealing with the BX and/or Commissaries. Whether they are about women dressing inappropriately, people letting their children wreck havoc all over the store, or adults acting like 2 year olds. I've been wanting to go there myself, just to see what all the hullabaloo is about.

Today started off like any other normal day. I went to work out on base with my new friend, Leah, then we headed to the pool.

As I pulled my bikini out of my walmart bag (because we all recycle and re-use walmart bags), I gasped suddenly as I recalled my morning routine.
I brushed my teeth, yes... I washed my face, yes... put on deodorant, shaved my bikini line and under arms, yes, yes, I did all of that. But I forgot something very important..

"Leah!" I yelped. "What?" she replied.
"Umm.... do you have any tampons with you? I totally forgot one this morning."
(You're probably wondering, how does one forget something that important? Or, maybe you're like me and have done it numerous times).

A young mother who overheard my question (and Leah's negative response) piped in and said, "I don't have any either! But I'm here with a lot of my girlfriends, I'll go ask them!" After a few moments she came back and said, "Sorry! Out of six mom's, you'd think one of us would have some!"

I decided there was nothing left to do but head to the BX!
When I got to the building, I tried the little convenient-store at the front first, and they were out (of course, right?). The un-sympathetic cashier pointed me in the direction of the BX's main entrance, so I continued on my way.

I meandered all over the store looking for the right section. I swear there was no rhyme or reason to the way everything was set up. I tried reading signs, but even those were misleading. I finally came to the correct location, anxious to grab a box of precious pearls, when I was stopped dead in my tracks.

Sitting on the floor, feet flat out in front of him, directly in front of the particular brand and size I needed to purchase, was a 20-some year old, blonde guy who was re-stocking all the tampons.
Aww... COME ON!!! I decided to try and not make a big deal out of it. We're both grown adults. He works here. He sees this stuff all the time. Everyone knows about this stuff. Why does it have to be awkward? That's right. It doesn't.

As I stood in front of him, rather than simply saying "excuse me," I jokingly said,
"You would be sitting right in front of what I need!" I even threw in a casual laugh.
The guy followed my gaze to the box of tampons and said "Oh, haha. Yeah... uhh, umm. Awkward!" What? No, no. No awkward. This is not going to be awkward!

He reached for a box like he was going to hand it to me, and then immediately pulled his hands to his sides and turned bright red.
I reached in front of him to grab a box of regulars (keep in mind, his face was literally only a few inches from the boxes.. why was he sitting so close?).

As I began pulling away, I realized I had not grabbed a box of regulars. I had grabbed a box of Super Plus. And the bright red boy turned dark red because he read the label as it passed his face.

Crap. I grabbed the wrong size. I don't need the Super Plus!! What am I gonna do, put it back and tell him I got the wrong one? that I need him to move his face so I can actually see what I'm reaching for and then not hit him in the nose as I pull it away? Why didn't he get up and move? Seriously? Just keep the darned box. It's not that big of a deal. Just go check out already! Remember? It's not awkward.

And at that moment the blonde had the audacity to say,
"....that's Weird."

I beg your pardon? Did you seriously just say that? Jerk!

I went to the nearest check-out lane with a woman-cashier, and informed her that I might have embarrrassed the heck out of the guy stocking the tampons.

She said, "Was he blonde, wearing a maroon shirt?"
"Uhh.. I don't remember what color of shirt he had on, but he was blonde."
"Well," she said, "that's Chad. He's still new, and he needs to get OVER it."

I liked her. A lot.

Anyways, so there's my first story from the BX.
Oh, and if you were wondering, yes, I do talk to myself, in my head, all the time.